Happiness.

Life is complicated. After, I left all the pain that he gave to me my life become brighter even sometime my mind keep remember him. I don't care what will happen after this. I have my own plan for my life. I will study hard to get straight A's in my big examination that will be held on November 6th, 2013. Then, I will leave this city  and go somewhere to release everything that I carry  the burden all this time. Seriously, after the examination end I want to go somewhere there's a people but they never know who I am. I want to go alone because after I come back I will make sure everything will become a new brand myself. I want to throw all the pain that I carry for many year only for him and suddenly he did this to me, that was cruel. Thank you so much love, you wake me up from dreams will not come true. The fact is, I never can win your heart. I don't want my heart become worst only because of you so, I will leave you peace and I hope you will have a great life and please don not do this to other girl, enough only to me. I will try my best to delete everything, don't you worry, I will make it like "we" never happen. Thank you so much, I appreciate what just you do to me.

Why don't you.

Why don't you just asked her. I am tired to see all of your drama with her. I knew you had a feeling on her. Why don't you try? I bet she would say "Yes. I do!" but that time what only I could feel, you just killed my life. I knew I'm not interested to you. I knew I couldn't make you love me even I tried so hard. Right now, what only I could say to you, "I am give up of trying. I hope someday you wouldn't regret of what you did to me. I am not the same girl that you knew. I'm give up. I must moved on from this". I knew this is hard to say goodbye but that was the way that only I could do to erase your name and your life from my life. I have a lot of things to plan, someday I would come back I hope on that time you're happy with the only girl that could make you happy all the time. I knew if I compare myself with her, I would lost because she was a pretty, beautiful, adorable, cute, smart, fashionable, funny and kind. I am not told you that I didn't have all that she has but some of that I didn't have on myself. Seriously, I have to tell you that actually because of you I felt like I want to go somewhere and come back with a new brand of myself and I bet on that time, I only saw you just an ordinary guy that I never knew and I don't think so I had been talked to you before in my life. Last but not least, go grab her before it's too late and I am happy if you're happy. Don't worry I would make it "we" never happened. Oh, sweetheart right now I really felt the calm in my life and there's nothing that I hold before something that was really thigh and now I really don't care about you anymore. Goodbye crush...

Again.

 

Sometime I'm hoping that it will not happen again but it is not exactly what we've planned because God is the one who determine whether it is good enough for me or not. I can't realize that the history that I've made before just happened to me again. Now, I'm really tired of trying in love with someone because love is hurt. You have to make a research of something that you've been searching for if is not it will haunt us. After, what he did to me, I just knew he was not the right guy that I'm searching for. I felt really stupid and broken. I still remember on my birthday, I stay up all night to wait his wished "Happy Birthday" to me, but he never wished me. He was actually the guy with a mask, he looked nice guy but he wasn't. Sometime, when I think it back it was like "Why, I'm chasing you like crazy. I know you will never think about me". Last two days, he was chatting with her and that girl has more than what I have. I'm broken and I felt like I really want to run from where actually I'm standing right now and just go to somewhere that place have people that didn't know me. I just wanted to delete everything until I could forget your name, what you like, what you dislike and of course your life. Because of I've started to know you, I felt like my life was over and died. You're like a murder. I'm hoping that someday you will suddenly remember what have you done to me. The pain that you gave to me, it was really painful. I just wanted to thank to you because of you I've learnt how to be someone that really carefully to choose somebody for my life. From those just happened to me make me woke up from you curse that I'm actually an expansive and exclusive girl and the only could own me, was the same like me. Actually, I'm still wonder, "Why actually I like you?" . Now, I'm a Miss Moving On and after I moved on, I really could feel the calm and I could feel we didn't have any connection but shame feeling still haunted me and stupid feeling also still haunted myself. Life wasn't easy so, to make it easy we must face it because with that we have experience to face the same problem on our future.

- The End -