Hello there! I hope you guys in a good health. By the way, I'm actually nervous and afraid and scared too, to face the Trials Examination that will be held on August 27th, 2013. Honestly, I have my own objective about this, that is I don't want to break my parents heart again and In Shaa Allah I will study smart maybe study hard also as possible I can cause I don't want to make any mistake again and again. I'm tired of this, sometimes I feel like I just want to give up but my sweetheart, Safrina left her word for us before she passed away "Stop being such a cry baby and pick yourself back up soldier cause the war isn't over yet". I will bring this word everywhere because she's the one who always give me inspiration about life. She's amazing and beautiful and pretty, even she already get back to Allah s.w.t but my memories with her still fresh. She always make everyone happy even actually she is not. Actually my cheeck just wet with tears. I cannot talk about her, she is too perfect for me and I always prays she will be in heaven now and of course right she's waiting for us. So, let's go back to the story. I have weakness that people never about that even my close friend and I know everyone have their own weakness right? So, my weakness is I cannot hear anyone talk or discuss about future cause It will bring to something. I can feel sadness, angry, disappointed and more that is all relate to future at the same time. I'm speechless and I feel worst without any reasons. Futhermore, I'm still lost my confident about SPM sometimes. I'm afraid If I cannot archive what I really want, I just need a straight A's. I don't care what type of "A" actually, I just want an "A" that's all. I' afraid that I still cannot give my parents a good present and is good result. Yes, maybe people say that "If you get a good result you will be the first person who are really happy for that and you will try and try until the war is over" but I'm not, I just want to be the last person who feel happy about my result after my parents proud me. I just need a good result, I want to make them proud of me and I want to pay back their money with my result, MY GOOD RESULT!!! I don't want to see my parents cry because I still don't get want they want from me especially my mother. I want she's the first person who feel proud of me. I want my sister make me as their role model. I just want that. There's no more happiness then make my parents happy. In Shaa Allah, I'll try my best to get what I want and I want to make them suprise with my good result cause my father said " I just want 75 an above cause I know you cannot even archive an straight A's". I want to make sure my weakness will be my strength. I want to make something magical that they actually don't not expect that I can get it. I believe in Allah s.w.t and only Him can help me. Allahukhbar!!! It's never too late to change the faith as long as I work hard for it. So, I think only this fir today so goodnight to all for you and Assalamualaikum to all muslim.
"Sometimes Allah will give us a present that we never expect tha we can get it, Allah's magical Most Powerful and there's no one can beat Him. Allahukhbar!!"