Words.

"Words never can describe myself'"

Everyone have their own habit to judge people including myself. We're like born in the "Word Machine" and the machine of course will be  our mouth. By using our mouth, we're actually can create something weather is it a good things or behide of it. Maybe we can judge them by say them "you're ugly" but do you think that she/ he will accept it even they looked nerd but you cannot judge them by their appeareance. Some of them, they will looked nerd and ugly at school because of something that they wanted to hide from us and maybe by judging them, they will be become more stronger than you're not going to expect what will happen after this. I will not to be suprise that if someone who looks ugly and nerd become beautiful and more gorgeous than the hottest girls in the school because we're do not know what actually the story behide their appearance. Honestly, I just done this before. I will wear something that people will look at me "She is ugly and she do not know even about fashion", for me it is just make my stronger. I will wear something that can show real myself and I'm not scared of judging cause that is life. We cannot  run from this things.
Futhermore, you will look at me every morning with my smile but behide the smile there was a lot of story that I cannot tell anyone but only me and God know it. Secrect must be kept safely. Before I slept I will cry. Cried for my sin, for my wrongs, for my life, for myself , for my future and of course for them I love so much, for my parents. However, I will always try to forget the person that I like from I was 12 years old until now but I still failed to forget it. Sometimes, before I slept I will cry for what actually I've been done, I felt stupid of loved him and I started to learn something that love actually cannot be trusted in this ages. I will try my best to forget about him as possible as I can. I just afraid of something, if let say one day he will say
"I like you" and on that time I will do not have any feeling for him but actually, that will be the time that I've been wait it just arrived but on that time there's nothing to say cause it's already too late. Last but not least, there's will be only my future, my parents and myself to run this world. So, only this for today. I think I just wrote something great tonight before I go to sleep. Have a good day, goodnight and Assalamualaikum.

Never look back.

Hello, Good Morning everyone!! So, I just only another 10 minutes to go. Honestly, I just try to learn my Economy subject and it was amazing, I cannot believe that I can study this subject because actually I dislike about this subject cause I'm not the a success student in reading. By the way, even only 10 percent the topic that I leartn just now, it's almost done it's brought me to study more and more cause you like what I said on my lastest post that all about future like and my parents.Suddenly, I disappointed myself that I keep blaming myself like if I study hard before, I can get what I really what as  you all know Straight A's. I feel stupid abut I could not go back to my past but, I still have I chance to learnt from my past. Know I could tell you that I got 10 percent confident to get a Straight A's so, In Shaa Allah I would share with  you the right method that you should try when you're study, and now I knew what is meaning of "Study Smart". Last but not least, I hope you're a very good time and have fun with you life. So, I have go . See ya!!! Assalamualaikum and byee.

"I'll never stop dreaming that one day we can be a real family, together, all of us laughing and talking, loving and understanding, not looking at the past but only to the future."

Before it's too late

Hello there! I hope you guys in a good health. By the way, I'm actually nervous and afraid and scared too, to face the Trials Examination that will be held on August 27th, 2013. Honestly, I have my own objective about this, that is I don't want to break my parents heart again and In Shaa Allah I will study smart maybe study hard also as possible I can cause I don't want to make any mistake again and again. I'm tired of this, sometimes I feel like I just want to give up but my sweetheart, Safrina left her word for us before she passed away "Stop being such a cry baby and pick yourself back up soldier cause the war isn't over yet". I will bring this word everywhere because she's the one who always give me inspiration about life. She's amazing and beautiful and pretty, even she already get back to Allah s.w.t but my memories with her still fresh. She always make everyone happy even actually she is not. Actually my cheeck just wet with tears. I cannot talk about her, she is too perfect for me and I always prays she will be in heaven now and of course right she's waiting for us. So, let's go back to the story. I have weakness that people never about that even my close friend and I know everyone have their own weakness right? So, my weakness is I cannot hear anyone talk or discuss about future cause It will bring to something. I can feel sadness, angry, disappointed and more  that is all relate to future at the same time. I'm speechless and I feel worst without any reasons. Futhermore, I'm still lost my confident about SPM sometimes. I'm afraid If I cannot archive what I really want, I just need a straight A's. I don't care what type of "A" actually, I just want an "A" that's all. I' afraid that I still cannot give my parents a good present and is good result. Yes, maybe people say that "If you get a good result you will be the first person who are really happy for that and you will try and try until the war is over" but I'm not, I just want to be the last person who feel happy about my result after my parents proud me. I just need a good result, I want to make them proud of me and I want to pay back their money with my result, MY GOOD RESULT!!! I don't want to see my parents cry because I still don't get want they want from me especially my mother. I want she's the first person who feel proud of me. I want my sister make me as their role model. I just want that. There's no more happiness then make my parents happy. In Shaa Allah, I'll try my best to get what I want and I want to make them suprise with my good result cause my father said " I just want 75 an above cause I know you cannot even archive an straight A's". I want to make sure my weakness will be my strength. I want to make something magical that they actually don't not expect that I can get it. I believe in Allah s.w.t and only Him can help me. Allahukhbar!!! It's never too late to change the faith as long as I work hard for it. So, I think only this fir today so goodnight to all for you and Assalamualaikum to all muslim. 

"Sometimes Allah will give us a present that we never expect tha we can get it, Allah's magical Most Powerful and there's no one can beat Him. Allahukhbar!!"

Never Fails.....

Middle of midnight with song that describe you personally and people never know that. So, I'm still here still wake up and I still can breath like usually, Alhamdulillah. To countinue the story that actually I want to tell you is of course about someone who I fall in love many time on him, hahaha. Lately, we're DM-ing 

(Twitter : Direct Message). Honestly, I'm not a desprete type, if he doesn't like me is okay but I want to be his friend before my senior year burn and on that time I will cry only because we still doesn't have any live conversation since we're 12 years old, that is sad. Actually, I fall in love on him for the third time and I don't know why he still can enter my heart even I just promise that I don't want to keep thinking about this anymore but it just happened so I couldn't do anything, just watch what will happen next. Now, I can see he looks at me that is good respond from him instead of he doesn't give me any respond at least he makes me smile everyday even we still doesn't have any live conversation yet, soon In Shaa Allah. I want he start the conversation first but I don't think so it will happen, I don't know why I still keep thinking about this I meant a "Negative Thinking". By the way, he still doesn't have anything to do yet after SPM and I really hope he will thing about future before SPM or Trials starts. As a friend I don't what to see him jobless, that will be more sad okay. So, I shold to go cause now is the Ramadhan month so, I have to get enough sleep if not I will tired easy ang of course I will sleep tomorrow's class. Wish and prays for me for Trials that will be held on the end of August and SPM will be held on November 6th, 2013. Goodnight and Assalamualaikum......